Foster Parents Online

For the first time - EVER - my husband and I had a teenaged babysitter on Sunday. We only just remembered about our friend’s 15 year old daughter, and we knew that she was responsible enough to care for our rugrats. When I asked her if she thought she could handle all three of them, she replied, “Oh sure. Just yesterday I had 5 kids - two five year olds, two three year olds and a one year old. No problem.”

“Good,” I told her, “because my three are about equal to five. We’re golden!”

She came and the kids had absolutely no problem with us leaving. After we spent three hours at the auction (during which we bought an AWESOME new sectional couch for only 160!! LOVE AUCTIONS!), we headed home.

“So, how was it?” I asked her.

“It was great…except…well…FS is a little bit..umm..hyperactive, don’t you think?”

At that point he came over and proudly told me, “I pooped!”

Thankfully it was in the potty that he pooped, but the entire experience made me realize how much special care he does truly need. I’m getting rather used to it as I do it on a daily basis, but if he’s enough to wear down a 15 year old, then I still have no idea how his biological mother will handle it if he goes home. She does not watch him very well and just assumes that everything will be okay - which is the entire reason he ended up in foster care, everything did NOT go okay.

Thankfully our babysitter loves us (or really wants the money - I’m thinking it’s the money) and said she would have no problem returning.

foster parenting, babysitter, biomom

Since it’s been mostly quiet on the questions front (a few here and there that I’ve answered privately), I decided to check and see what is being typed into search engines to bring people here. Two questions popped out right off.

1 - Do I need to become a foster parent to take care of my nephew?

2 - Can I become a foster parent and still homeschool?

Two really, really good questions. Let’s answer these now, shall we?

1 - When our nephew was 16 he was diagnosed with a severe mental disorder. Because of his disorder, and his wildness, my sister-in-law could no longer care adequately for him - so we did. He was placed with us through the local department of mental health and, because of his situation, we recieved a stipend every month for his care. All of this occured before we ever had a license. This is called kinship care.

It is possible to become a caregiver for your relative without being a licensed foster parent, but the amount of money you recieve, or IF you recieve money, depends greatly on the state and the circumstances surrounding the case. DCF always does their best to find a suitable relative to take the child that has been taken into custody, but if none can be found, the child goes formally into the foster care system, living with a licensed foster family. A social worker will be the one to decide if a family member that wants to take the child is capable of doing so.

2- In our foster course we actually had someone bring up this question. She had home schooled both of her children, who were now in high school, and wanted to do the same with any foster child that came into her home. The answer from the instructor was an emphatic “no”. She explained that when a child comes into your home, you are not their legal guardian - the state is. With the state’s guidelines the child needs to be placed in a licensed school system, especially if they come to the family and are already enrolled in a school. If adoption is finalized, only then can you pull your child out of school and homeschool them.

Foster parenting, homeschooling, kinship care

Alright, I’m “officially” opening up the floor for questions. I have mentioned previously that I want this to be a place that anyone can come to get answers about foster parenting, so let’s go! Ask any question you want, no question is bad. Unless you’re enquiring about the size of my husband’s genitalia, then we MAY need to talk…

I will answer all questions by Tuesday, so ask away!

Foster Parenting, Q&A

As a writer for this network, I also do the Brad Pitt website. It’s not often that stories from the two sites can intertwine, but this morning I discovered one that could.

According to Life & Style Magazine, Brad Pitt has walked out on Angelina for ignoring their biological daugher, Shiloh, over their adopted children.

One thing that a lot of prospective foster/adoptive parents worry about: that they will love their biological children more than their foster or adopted children. In Angie’s case, of course, the situation is backwards, but it still has to do with loving one child more than another.

I don’t generally worry about this. If you are brave enough and have enough heart to go into foster care than you have enough room in your heart for more children. It’s as simple as that. You have to love children to even consider becoming a foster parent, so it is only natural that you will come to love whatever child is in your home.

My oldest son is 6, and I have always told him that I do not love him MORE, I have just loved him LONGER, because he’s the oldest. It is the same with foster children - the longer they are in your home, the more you will love them.

And Angie? If you are doing what all these magazines say you are doing? Than do us all a favor: give Brad ALL of the kids and head for the hills.

Foster Parenting, Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt