Foster Parents Online

My mother says this constantly, and it annoys me to no end.

“Randi - I’ve got too much on my plate right now. I can’t handle anything else.”

This is her excuse for everything. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love my mother with every breath in my body. I simply don’t understand how she has so much on her plate that she can’t spend more time with us and with her grandchildren. I told her the other day that I am now the treasurer for the Parent’s Club for my son’s school.

“Don’t you have enough to do?”

Let’s see, I work from home, I take care of my two children, and I do the day-to-day things that everyone else has to do. No, I don’t think I’m adding too much to my schedule.

She tends to stress out about things that she really doesn’t need to, such as getting the garden weeded or painting the front steps. So you’re a day late getting the weeds out of your garden - so what? You need to strike a balance between enjoying life and fulfilling your obligations.

This is something that all foster parents, and regular parents for that matter, have to do. You have to find a way to balance everything, which can’t be easy. Don’t feel bad to let your hair down for a night and plop in front of the TV with the kids watching movies with McDonalds for supper and ice cream for dessert - sometimes we all need to relax, and how much nicer when you can relax with your kids?

We had a call yesterday for a 17 year old girl - according to her case manager, she’s a habitual liar.

Ummmm…no.

I say this for a reason. If we were to take her in and I had to leave for the evening, for whatever reason, she could say that Scott molested her, and our own children would be taken away while we waited for a formal investigation.

Helping children is great - including your own. Sometimes you have to say “no” in order to protect your kids. Your kids come first, or else you could end up having them be in foster care.

Sorry it’s been a few days - Babygirl, Toad, Scott and I have been getting into a new routine since FS left our home. I had a really, really rough night on Thursday night, worrying that FS was really upset. After I wrote the post I went to Scott bawling. It was definitely tough.

Yesteday, though, I heard from his Infant/Toddler teacher. She had gone out to the new home and wanted me to know how he was doing.

“He’s got his own room, and he’s psyched about it. It’s decorated perfectly for a little boy. He’s got his own toys, and the new foster mom says that just when she starts to get tired, her older sons (they’re 12 and 14) come home and start to play with FS, so he’s always got someone willing to play with him.”

This lightened my load considerably and reminded me WHY I do this - to help children find their forever families. Looks like FS has just found his.

It doesn’t mean, though, that we will be out of his life forever - and the saga with his biomom and the new foster family is just beginning. But now I can rest easy knowing that he’s safe, he’s secure, and he’s loved the way he needs to be.

Foster Care, FS, Foster Mother, Biological Mom

Today we dropped of FS at DCF for a visit and he left with his new foster parents.

FS is almost 3, but has the mind of a 2 year old, thus explaining it all to him was decided against (by his case worker and therapist). I dropped him off for his visit, came home, packed all of this things, and went back to await the new parents. They seemed like a nice couple, and the mother actually started tearing up at the hopes that he can become their new son permanently.

I transferred everything to the father’s truck (out of sight of FS - he was still at the office) and went back to the office to find them fitting him into his new car seat. He was SO excited. “Mom look!” he exclaimed and proceeded to sit in it and show me how it worked. I sat back and let the new foster mom ooh and aah over everything.

Then the time came to go, and his case worker said, “Hey FS - would you like to go see some cows?” The new foster father works on a farm. He got really excited and let the foster mom help him on with his jacket.

“Say goodbye to mom,” she said to him.

He came over to me, “bye”, he said with a grin on his face. I zipped up his jacket and gave him a quick hug. “Bye baby.”

I felt myself starting to cry, which was not good for him, so I walked into the other room, leaving my biodaughter Babygirl with the therapist.

And FS walked out of my life.

Foster parenting

Tomorrow, after his visit with his biomom, FS will be leaving us. I will be meeting his new foster mom at DCF and transferring his things while he is still in his visit. This is good because it allows me to pack his things while he is at his visit, so he doesn’t have to see me doing it.

Yes, I am a little sad, but ideally this is what’s best for him, and that is what Foster Parenting is all about. So I’m going to spend the day goofing around with the two little ones, and trying to enjoy oursleves, and I will be back, tomorrow afternoon, with details about how it happened, and the meeting we had yesterday with his biomom (UGH).

Today I have had enough.

It’s been a rough month, with my grandmother passing on and starting a new job, but for some reason, today, I’ve had it.

My biodaughter, Babygirl, wanted a blanket this morning while I was in the bathroom. Toad (bioson) told her to go get it. FS decided that HE wanted the same blanket, so HE went and grabbed it and wouldn’t let it go. Toad tried to referee, and FS slapped him in the face.

I called my husband, very upset, because we have always agreed that if our children were miserable, we would do something to change the situation. They’re miserable - I’m miserable. This situation, as much as I hate to say it, can not continue. Scott will be heading to DCF after work to talk with them.

Unfortunately there are times when, as much as you want to help, you just can’t. I think we may have reached an impasse -

Sorry I didn’t post yesterday! Things have gone crazy! This weeks seems like the week for appointments.

Monday FS had a Dr. Appt.
Tuesday FS had visitation
Today FS has his infant/toddler teacher visiting
Thursday Babygirl has a Dr. Appt
Friday is THE meeting.

By THE meeting, what I mean to say is that FS’s caseworker has confided in us that the purpose of the huge meeting we are invited to, is to show biomom exactly how far FS has come, and how difficult he reall is to raise. I am assuming that they hope that she will sign off her rights so that they do not have to go to court and battle. It will definitely be an interesting meeting.

FS, Biomom, Visitation

For the first time - EVER - my husband and I had a teenaged babysitter on Sunday. We only just remembered about our friend’s 15 year old daughter, and we knew that she was responsible enough to care for our rugrats. When I asked her if she thought she could handle all three of them, she replied, “Oh sure. Just yesterday I had 5 kids - two five year olds, two three year olds and a one year old. No problem.”

“Good,” I told her, “because my three are about equal to five. We’re golden!”

She came and the kids had absolutely no problem with us leaving. After we spent three hours at the auction (during which we bought an AWESOME new sectional couch for only 160!! LOVE AUCTIONS!), we headed home.

“So, how was it?” I asked her.

“It was great…except…well…FS is a little bit..umm..hyperactive, don’t you think?”

At that point he came over and proudly told me, “I pooped!”

Thankfully it was in the potty that he pooped, but the entire experience made me realize how much special care he does truly need. I’m getting rather used to it as I do it on a daily basis, but if he’s enough to wear down a 15 year old, then I still have no idea how his biological mother will handle it if he goes home. She does not watch him very well and just assumes that everything will be okay - which is the entire reason he ended up in foster care, everything did NOT go okay.

Thankfully our babysitter loves us (or really wants the money - I’m thinking it’s the money) and said she would have no problem returning.

foster parenting, babysitter, biomom

Over here at 451Press, we are celebrating “take your child to work” day. Today the post will be dictated by my three year old biological daughter, Babygirl! Enjoy!

Hi! My name is Babygirl. My brother’s name is Toad. I like that FS lives with us. I like to play with him. I love FS. I wish FS would stay in bed in the morning.

Can I have an Easter candy now, Mommy??

I like to play with FS. We play with toys - FS breaks toys. I think means to do it.

Toad likes to play the Gamecube. I like to play the Gameboy. I think Daddy ate my Easter candy - he LOOOVVESS it!

*speaking to FS* FS - if you go Potty, you can have some candy!

*speaking to me as I’m typing* Mom - what are you doing? I didn’t say nuthin’!

Sometimes FS is a bad boy. I still like him though.

Thanks for reading!

foster parenting, biological children